|AP PHOTO/SONY-COLUMBIA PICTURES, TRACY BENNETT|
Adam Sandler portrays both Jill, left, and Jack in a scene from "Jack & Jill."
Why, Al Pacino, why?
I know it's been a while since you were truly great on the big screen, but have you really fallen this far?
Is this the best we can get today from Michael Corleone, Serpico, Tony Montana?
Did you owe Adam Sandler money? Does he have embarrassing, incriminating photos of you?
Please, give me something. Help me make some sense out of your involvement in the cinematic atrocity that is "Jack and Jill," a movie not content simply to be horrifically awful; it seems intent on retroactively tarnishing your entire career.
Clearly, Sandler has surrounded himself with yes men at his Happy Madison Productions. Anyone with any sense would have stopped at nothing to prevent this debacle from reaching theaters.
You have to hand it to Sandler in one respect, though—he managed to find a co-star more annoying than he is: himself. As producer, co-writer and leading man/woman, we have to start questioning his sanity at this point.
Sandler portrays the two characters of the title: Jack, who can save his failing advertising agency only by convincing Pacino to star in a Dunkin Donuts commercial, and Jill, Jack's twin sister whose annual Thanksgiving visit turns into a stay of more than a month.
As Jack, Sandler is the straight man. As the excruciating Jill, he runs rampant through the movie, terrorizing all who cross his path, the audience most of all.
Between poop jokes, Pacino inexplicably falls head-over-heels in love with Jill and agrees to do Jack's commercial only if Jack can hook him up with her.
It's no spoiler to say Pacino eventually does Jack's TV spot. His reaction upon seeing the commercial applies even more readily to "Jack and Jill": "No one must ever see this."
Greg’s Grade: F
(Rated PG for crude and sexual humor, language, comic violence and brief smoking. 89 minutes.)